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Great TV/Movie quotes

Officer Palumbo: What kind of name is that anyhow? Kumar? What is that five o's or two u's?
 
"Up your nose with a rubber hose." --- Welcome Back Kotter
 
Whose leg do I have to hump to get a dry martini around here?


Family Guy
 
KG: Go ahead and sleep on the power couch. Your training begins tomorrow, at the crack of noon
 
John Spartan: Look, I don't know if you guys know it, but uh... you're out of toilet paper.
Alfredo Garcia: Did... did you say toilet *paper*?
Lenina Huxley: Um... they used handfuls of wadded paper back in the 20th...
John Spartan: I'm happy that you're happy, but the place where you're supposed to have the toilet paper, you've got this little shelf with three seashells on it.
Erwin: He doesn't know how to use the three seashells!
Erwin: I can see how that could be confusing.

---Demolition Man
 
"Man this is baseball. You gotta stop thinking. Just have fun."

The Sandlot -- one of my all time favorite movies.
 
"the light that burns twice as bright only lasts half as long"
 
JB: [Begins to vocalize. The microphone lights on fire and he knocks it over]
JB: I do not need...
KG: He does not need.
JB: A microphone...
KG: A microphone.
JB: My voice is f***ing...
KG: F***ing.
JB: Powerful!
JB: [Begins to sing to crowd and moves hand in a slow passing motion. A powerful wind comes from his hands]
JB: [Begins to vocalize again and the man's head he is looking at explodes. He apologizes]
JB: I did not mean...
KG: He did not mean.
JB: To blow your mind...
KG: To blow your mind
JB: But that s**t happens to me... all the time!
 
Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight.

The Joker
 
Nobody puts Baby in the corner!
 
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

City Slickers
 
with my left foot... ill kick your face...
with my right foot... ill kick your nose...
take a good look at my face... im an oriental

they call me bruce
 
Well keep you chin up, there's someone out there for everbody...you know in some cases there are two someones for one person; I like to call that 'the jackpot'


Dodgeball
 
Book him, Danno. Murder one. --- Hawaii Five-O
 
If you beat up on so many cops, how comes we don't see no scratches on you? Coz I'm a karate man, bruise on the inside, don't show my weaknesses.


Trading Places
 
Fatman: Somebody's coming up. Somebody serious.


the professional
 
George McFly: Lorraine, my density has bought me to you. --- Back to the Future
 
i hope you have a big trunk... cuz ima put my bike in it
 
Mr. McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. --- The Incredible Hulk
 
2 men enter... 1 man leaves


beyond thunderdome
 
There can be only one!

- Highlander
 
ive got chilllls... theyre multiplying... and im looooosing control...


grease
 
They sent you a card but it said 'For Peter' on it so you must have thought it was FROM you, so you didn't uh, you know it's just easier to call you stupid.


Family Guy
 
whats the buzz... tell me wazza happenin... whats the buzz... tell me wazza happenin
 
Thornton Melon: Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes. --- Back to School
 
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