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Dad’s not doing good

jazi95

jazi95

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Sorry for the weird thread, but I trust this community enough to give me some advice.

My father is not doing well, healthwise. He probably does not have much time left due to his Lymphoma, kidney issues, and other things.

We are beginning to prepare for the worse. Any tips/advice you can offer? He never left a will because this thing took us by surprise.

Thanks everyone 🙏🏼
 
I have no advise besides I'm thinking of you and your family. Stuff like this is the absolute hardest
 
Is he cognizant enough to do a living trust?
 
Man. I have no words of advice my guy other than make the time. My dad was sick and we were estranged, and though I never forgave him, I wish more than anything I’d have just made the time. That I’d forced myself to make the time.

You and yours are in my positive thoughts my guy.
 
ULEWZ said:
Is he cognizant enough to do a living trust?
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As now, I would say no. 2 days ago he was fine. Things took an unexpected turn
 
Having just gone through this with my mom please don’t hesitate to reach out privately if need be. It is a totally overwhelming situation.

My thoughts are with you and yours.
 
Sorry you are dealing with this. I lost my mom unexpectedly years ago and it is very tough. Just do the best you can to get through it and give your other loved ones some grace. I know that there were family members upset at each other because they didn’t think others were handling it the “right way” and everyone needs to handle it their “own way”

My thoughts and prayers are with you.
 
So sorry to hear. No advice, just thoughts and prayers for your family 🙏🏻
 
Best wishes to you in this tough time. I can tell you an estate going through probate is not a good thing. If he can get a simple trust together or at the very least a will quickly assets can be transferred much more quickly and with less money going to attorneys
 
Absolutely crushing to hear. I lost my dad earlier this year and would just say, don’t leave anything unsaid. Spend the time and focus on the good times you have shared together.

My thoughts are with you and your family.
 
No real advice unfortunately. As I am going thru the same thing right now. I'm the executor of my mother's estate & since September when she passed, has been hell on earth. I don't wish it on anyone, that's for sure.
All I can say is take it one day at a time. Knowing full well that he doesn't have much time left may actually be a comfort. My mother's death was unexpected as well. She went into the hospital & 10 days later she was gone. I will forever, for the rest of my days, HATE hospitals with a passion. She didn't have pneumonia when she went in but sure enough that's what caused her death. :cry:
 
Really sorry to hear that! No advice from me, but my love and best wishes to you and the family.
 
This is a tough situation. Having lost both my dad and my stepdad unexpectedly in the past year, nothing can prepare you for this.

Spend your time left with him just being there. The other stuff like probate and all the paperwork that comes with someone passing can wait. I wish I knew when I was going to lose my dads so I could have savored that last moment with them. My thoughts are with you.
 
Oh man. Hate to hear this. No advice I can give other than try to stay positive as hard as it is and you are in my thoughts and prayers!
 
A healthcare proxy would be important to have in hand so someone (your mom?) can make medical decisions in the event your dad is unable.
 
I'm so sorry to hear this. Having lost my wife this year, I certainly understand. It's hard to say, but hopefully he will pass peacefully and avoid more suffering.

Given what've you've said, I would reach out to an estate attorney ASAP and discuss options. You need power of attorneys and other documents in place as quickly as possible. Don't rely on the advice of amateurs. You need a lawyer's expert counsel. The law is extremely complex and it will likely save you money and aggravation in the long-run.
 
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So sorry to hear Jazi. I have no advice because losing a parent is so tough. wishing you and your family the best.
 
Leave nothing unsaid is probably the best advice.

As far as the other stuff, I think it is important to let folks know your concerns if you have them. Reach out to an attorney as far as what can be done now. What I consider fair and what others are very different things.
 
Thoughts and prayers to your and your family.

Having lost both of my parents within 6 months of each other last year I can relate to your difficult situation. Fortunately my parents were pretty buttoned up regarding their wills and estate planning. Never the less it can be a difficult process-legally and emotionally. Keep your head up.
 
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
 
I am so sorry to hear this and all I can say is treasure the time you have left.

Life's too short not to tell the ones you love how you feel everyday!
 
Have your Dad call and leave you a voice message. That way you will always have it.
 
Unfortunately, working in long term care, I see this quite often. I know the ins and outs of these kinds of situations, and can offer up my assistance if you have any questions. I also have multiple Social Workers that I employ that I could tap in to if needed.

I'm here to help, let me know how I can be of assistance.
 
I feel for you man, I lost my mom last month to Alzheimer’s. All I can say is let the doctors, doctor and just be there for him. We all handle it differently. I’m am a total momma’s boy and the hardest thing was being there at the end. Every time I left I tried to make sure that I had the “picture” in my head that I could live with, but it never works that way.

Be very, very conscious of “broken heart syndrome” if your mom is still with you. It is very real. We were only gone from the hospital for 2 hours before my dad collapsed and we had an ambulance at our house and right back to the hospital. He’s 82 and they’ve been together since 14.

It’s a sucky part of life, just be the best you can be for your family and that’s all you can do. You HAVE to take care of yourself (and your mother) FIRST or things compound quickly.

All the best to you and your family.
 
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