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Platonic Possibilities?

I'm about to find out lol. I think right now it's working but not without its tough moments. Men and women can be friends but its completely up to the individual. Not all cases involve attraction like I think it's being perceived. Attraction isn't always about the want to hook up. Who knows though, I think Chris Rock's take is forged.
 
Thainer said:



I remember this song from elementary school. I was 12 when it came out.

Ive seen way too many people establish relationships on facebook and such. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesnt. FB is a major player, and twitter is too.
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You were 12 in elementary school? What grade did your school go to? For us elementary school ended in 5th grade which made most kids 10.
 
GolferGal said:
You were 12 in elementary school? What grade did your school go to? For us elementary school ended in 5th grade which made most kids 10.
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Most Canadian elementary schools are k-7, high school, 8-12
 
GolferGal said:
That is so interesting. So you don't have a middle school? For me it was K-5 for elementary, 6-8 for middle and then 9-12 for high.
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I did, but most don't, my elementary was k-6, middle school, 7-9, highschool, 10-12, but every district is different, plus Hundy failed a few grades.
 
GolferGal said:
You were 12 in elementary school? What grade did your school go to? For us elementary school ended in 5th grade which made most kids 10.
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Ours starts in 7th grade.

Very interesting thread so far, lots of great answers.
 
coolbreeze said:
I did, but most don't, my elementary was k-6, middle school, 7-9, highschool, 10-12, but every district is different, plus Hundy failed a few grades.
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I have heard of the way you went to school but not the other. Very interesting. Sorry for the thread jack I was just curious how the school systems worked on Canada.
 
My elementary was K-8. 9-12 High.
GolferGal said:
You were 12 in elementary school? What grade did your school go to? For us elementary school ended in 5th grade which made most kids 10.
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coolbreeze said:
Hundy failed a few grades.
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I never failed one, skipped one then did one twice, but not due to my own stupidity. Thanks to my dumb teachers, I should be a year ahead of where I am now.
 
ahh2fly said:
Well, let me ask something else then... do you develop attractions to the people you only know online? If so, how many guys that I interact with online are sizing me up as a potential mate? This is disturbing.

I personaly need to have lots of physical attraction for a guy. I guess I'm more like a guy when it comes to that. I can't possibly know if that exists without meeting them in person. I gave up online dating YEARS ago. The person in real life was never the person they were online.
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SethO said:
I have never developed any kind of romantic/sexual attraction for people I have met online. I don't think anybody is completely the same on the internet as they are IRL. The internet is for pr0n, not dating (finding a girl through the internet and scheduling a get to know each other date is completely different).
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GolferGal said:
I think that depends on the person. I think there are people who can truly find love through online dating. And I also think there are just lonely people who maybe exaggerate an internet relationship because it fills a void in their life. I really do think it just depends on the person.

But what do I know I met my husband at a bar haha.
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My wife and I met on American Singles. And she was in California while I was in Kansas. So we not only met online, but had a long distance relationship for almost a year before she came out here.



GolferGal said:
You were 12 in elementary school? What grade did your school go to? For us elementary school ended in 5th grade which made most kids 10.
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Our elementary school went fom K-6, Junior High from 7-9 and in 10th grade you started High School.
 
I would like to chime in here as it seems I am in the minority. I definitely think that there can be platonic relationships between men and women. Personally, I would say that I have an equal number of very good guy friends and very good girlfriends. Two of my oldest and dearest friends are girls. It might have something to do with the fact that I have three sisters and am very close to each of them, but I definitely have and have had many girls as friends without there being any romantic expectations.
 
Maybe it's a generational thing. My daughter has several male friends, when I was coming up back in the Stone Age male/female friendships were not at all common
 
Good post Dr. Teeth

Dr. Teeth said:
I would like to chime in here as it seems I am in the minority. I definitely think that there can be platonic relationships between men and women. Personally, I would say that I have an equal number of very good guy friends and very good girlfriends. Two of my oldest and dearest friends are girls. It might have something to do with the fact that I have three sisters and am very close to each of them, but I definitely have and have had many girls as friends without there being any romantic expectations.
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TC said:
...I don't believe that a platonic relationship can occur between a guy and girl, at least without any sort of physical yearning or wanting or whatever you want to call it. She and I became so emotionally engrossed in each other that the physical engagement was just a matter of time.

Jeez, recalling all of this is making me sad.

Good luck ahh2fly with whatever it is you've got going on, but I can assure you, if this man or you become truly emotionally and perhaps spiritually involved with each other, the physical is inevitable.
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Thanks for sharing TC. You made ME sad for you. I think you're right, sadly.

There is someone I really connect with on every level and we are friends. Nothing has happened beyond that, but I can feel the pull of something else there. I think this is a dangerous situation for me. I don't want to spend time on a guy who I can't be with, but I love the way he thinks. We think. It's like I've found a nearly-perfect guy, but it cannot be.

It started to make me re-evaluate all of the friendships I have with men. I DO think I can be completely platonic with most of them, but I'm pretty sure that isn't what they are hoping for. I can really see it when they meet a girl and all of a sudden I am blocked from their Facebook page or I'm told by the guy that we can't talk anymore because his girlfriend doesn't like me. REALLY? Out of the 400 women you are friends with I am the one who gets blocked? That is weird!!!!!!!!!!

I'm totally rambling. This morning has been really hard on me. I feel almost like I'm watching another person. Like I'm outside of myself looking in. I don't know what's wrong, but I'm sure things will be fine again soon enough.

Reading all of the posts on here has helped me get some perspective on the situation. Thanks to all of you for posting. Yes, I'm reading them all.
 
coolbreeze said:
I did, but most don't, my elementary was k-6, middle school, 7-9, highschool, 10-12, but every district is different, plus Hundy failed a few grades.
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Side bar: Out here in Alberta most elementaries are K-6, junior high 7-9, and highschool 10-12.
It's when you go to Ontario things get whacked! Do they still have grade 13 out there?

However, our new highschool curriculum for maths and science is really stupid. They are putting kids in separate streams based on what they think they will be doing in university. One stream for science/engineering/math, one for arts, one for people who can't do either.

On topic: A lot of my most trusted friends are older girls (2-3 years older than me). Those that I've known for a long time are more sisters to me than anything else.
 
Sounds like you're going through a bit of a time here but like you said, it will pass. Hopefully sooner rather than later, and the old cliche, it happens for a reason really never fails. Best of luck to you!

ahh2fly said:
Thanks for sharing TC. You made ME sad for you. I think you're right, sadly.

There is someone I really connect with on every level and we are friends. Nothing has happened beyond that, but I can feel the pull of something else there. I think this is a dangerous situation for me. I don't want to spend time on a guy who I can't be with, but I love the way he thinks. We think. It's like I've found a nearly-perfect guy, but it cannot be.

It started to make me re-evaluate all of the friendships I have with men. I DO think I can be completely platonic with most of them, but I'm pretty sure that isn't what they are hoping for. I can really see it when they meet a girl and all of a sudden I am blocked from their Facebook page or I'm told by the guy that we can't talk anymore because his girlfriend doesn't like me. REALLY? Out of the 400 women you are friends with I am the one who gets blocked? That is weird!!!!!!!!!!

I'm totally rambling. This morning has been really hard on me. I feel almost like I'm watching another person. Like I'm outside of myself looking in. I don't know what's wrong, but I'm sure things will be fine again soon enough.

Reading all of the posts on here has helped me get some perspective on the situation. Thanks to all of you for posting. Yes, I'm reading them all.
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Thainer said:
My elementary was K-8. 9-12 High.





I never failed one, skipped one then did one twice, but not due to my own stupidity. Thanks to my dumb teachers, I should be a year ahead of where I am now.
Click to expand...

That makes more sense. I figured your school system was different so I was curious how.
 
ahh2fly said:
Thanks for sharing TC. You made ME sad for you. I think you're right, sadly.

There is someone I really connect with on every level and we are friends. Nothing has happened beyond that, but I can feel the pull of something else there. I think this is a dangerous situation for me. I don't want to spend time on a guy who I can't be with, but I love the way he thinks. We think. It's like I've found a nearly-perfect guy, but it cannot be.

It started to make me re-evaluate all of the friendships I have with men. I DO think I can be completely platonic with most of them, but I'm pretty sure that isn't what they are hoping for. I can really see it when they meet a girl and all of a sudden I am blocked from their Facebook page or I'm told by the guy that we can't talk anymore because his girlfriend doesn't like me. REALLY? Out of the 400 women you are friends with I am the one who gets blocked? That is weird!!!!!!!!!!

I'm totally rambling. This morning has been really hard on me. I feel almost like I'm watching another person. Like I'm outside of myself looking in. I don't know what's wrong, but I'm sure things will be fine again soon enough.

Reading all of the posts on here has helped me get some perspective on the situation. Thanks to all of you for posting. Yes, I'm reading them all.
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If it makes you feel any better no man is anywhere near perfect. Within a month he'd be leaving the toilet seat up and hanging his skid marked boxers off the bedroom door knob.

Hope that helps :D
 
MarcW said:
Not if Fred Couples is involved.
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Tehehe. Of course not! He would have NO SAY in the matter.

Sadly, I feel like if I got to know him in the real world, my attraction for him would not be nearly as intense as I hope. How could I spend time weeding the garden (back breaking work by the way) and eating butterscotch candies and be content? I couldn't. I am an adrenaline junkie. I don't get the impression that Fred is.
 
RonInThornton said:
If it makes you feel any better no man is anywhere near perfect. Within a month he'd be leaving the toilet seat up and hanging his skid marked boxers off the bedroom door knob.

Hope that helps :D
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Ooooooooo, gross! But you never know what you'll put up with for someone you truly care about.
 
ahh2fly said:
Ooooooooo, gross! But you never know what you'll put up with for someone you truly care about.
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Throw it out there the first month; that way it's normal; after that, then your labeled weird.
 
ahh2fly said:
Thanks for sharing TC. You made ME sad for you. I think you're right, sadly.

There is someone I really connect with on every level and we are friends. Nothing has happened beyond that, but I can feel the pull of something else there. I think this is a dangerous situation for me. I don't want to spend time on a guy who I can't be with, but I love the way he thinks. We think. It's like I've found a nearly-perfect guy, but it cannot be.

It started to make me re-evaluate all of the friendships I have with men. I DO think I can be completely platonic with most of them, but I'm pretty sure that isn't what they are hoping for. I can really see it when they meet a girl and all of a sudden I am blocked from their Facebook page or I'm told by the guy that we can't talk anymore because his girlfriend doesn't like me. REALLY? Out of the 400 women you are friends with I am the one who gets blocked? That is weird!!!!!!!!!!

I'm totally rambling. This morning has been really hard on me. I feel almost like I'm watching another person. Like I'm outside of myself looking in. I don't know what's wrong, but I'm sure things will be fine again soon enough.

Reading all of the posts on here has helped me get some perspective on the situation. Thanks to all of you for posting. Yes, I'm reading them all.
Click to expand...

You're welcome. I think you are doing the best thing in this scenario and that's evaluating the situation. I wish I would've done more of that in my past. It would've saved a lot of heartache and sleepless nights. Based on reading this, it sounds to me that you have an idea of what may be going on in his head, and to be honest with you, the only way you'll ever really find out is to ask him. Have you ever thought about that? Asking what he may expect or want. It may be tough to hear and deal with but at least then it's on the table.
 
Dr. Teeth said:
I would like to chime in here as it seems I am in the minority. I definitely think that there can be platonic relationships between men and women. Personally, I would say that I have an equal number of very good guy friends and very good girlfriends. Two of my oldest and dearest friends are girls. It might have something to do with the fact that I have three sisters and am very close to each of them, but I definitely have and have had many girls as friends without there being any romantic expectations.
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I agree with you, Dr. It is possible, but I also think it is rare. My best friend is a girl and I have never been physically attracted to her in the 5 years I have known her. And, its not because she isn't attractive, she is actually a smokin hot yoga instructor. Anyway, I know her husband very well and he knows my girlfriend very well and everyone realizes and understands that we are just friends. Now, with that being said, I think I am in the minority. I value my friendships very highly and I think that has a lot to do with it. We have a pretty tight knit crew of close friends and I can't imagine doing anything to put that in jeopardy.
 
Possible? Yes. Likely? No.
 
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