We've launched the new forums! Read more here

Another little one?

coolbreeze

coolbreeze

Aspiring Golferr
Joined
Sep 19, 2010
Messages
22,092
Reaction score
139
Location
Victoria, BC
Handicap
RCGA 8.9
All the baby posts today made me think about the discussions going on in the Coolbreeze household and I thought I could do with some THP input as there are a lot of family men here. So my wife and I have a beautiful son Kingsley who is two and half and the light of my life. We are currently deciding whether or not to have one more and are very undecided. We know we would never regret having another child, and might regret not having another, but we are really loving our lives right now. Would it be better for Kingsley to have a brother or sister, someone who he can talk to about how bad we screwed him up?:act-up: Anyway just some thoughts on your experiences about having more than one kid would be great.
 
Can't help you out yet bro. But I'm looking forward to some responses.

edit: and I'll add one other thing, there are far too many crappy people out there having babies and far too many good people not having them. So, take that for what it's worth.
 
Kids are great. I have 2 daughters who are right at 2 1/2 years apart and they are each other's best friends (they fight a lot, they are girls after all) but they always end up making up and when they sit and have what seems like grown up conversations about Barbies and playing house and all that I could just sit and watch for hours. At first that 2nd kid in the mix really gets things busy and you feel overwhelmed but eventually after diapers are gone and all that you find that its really not much different. It's when you have 3 and are out numbered that you have to watch out!
 
I am the middle child of 5. We are all less than 2 years apart and I know that raising us had to be hard on my parents. BUT... To this day we are all best friends. There is just something about growing up with someone that is so wonderful. You grow up having similar experiences, you love, fight and make up with each other. There are a lot of wonderful life lessons that you learn from having a sibling. I think you answered the question yourself when you said that you would never regret having another, but you may regret not having another. I think that is your answer. People usually have pretty good intuition about these things IMO.
 
Thanks P4B and Dr. Teeth, its a big decision, and having another would involve moving houses first.
 
I was raised in a house with 9 children. We are a close bunch but I am especially close to one sister. We have the best time when our large family has get togethers. When someone is down and out, we stick together like glue. We all chip in and pay my mother's mortgage and help her with other expenses. The girls mostly take care of her medical needs and the boys help around the home. We don't see each other very often but we always know everyone will be there in a heartbeat. A large family was tough when we were growing up but it is a blessing now, especially to my ailing mother.

I had two boys who were 22 months apart. It was so heartwarming to see my son be his brother's best man in his wedding last year. They are total opposites but yet there is such a bond between them even though they live across the country from each other now.

I had a boss once who was an only child. He told me more than once that he thought it was cruel to only have one child because they miss out on so much by not having an extended family. My boss never had children, no brothers or sisters. When his mother and father passed, he had no one. I'll never forget how alone he felt.

If I had it to do over again, I would have at least two and maybe three children. I missed out on a daughter. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a granddaughter one day.
 
We had three 2 years apart and while it was tough at times, I never regretted it. All three are such individuals, all three an adventure and a blessing. Now three grand children.

Tap,Tap,Tap
 
KellyBo said:
I was raised in a house with 9 children. We are a close bunch but I am especially close to one sister. We have the best time when our large family has get togethers. When someone is down and out, we stick together like glue. We all chip in and pay my mother's mortgage and help her with other expenses. The girls mostly take care of her medical needs and the boys help around the home. We don't see each other very often but we always know everyone will be there in a heartbeat. A large family was tough when we were growing up but it is a blessing now, especially to my ailing mother.

I had two boys who were 22 months apart. It was so heartwarming to see my son be his brother's best man in his wedding last year. They are total opposites but yet there is such a bond between them even though they live across the country from each other now.

I had a boss once who was an only child. He told me more than once that he thought it was cruel to only have one child because they miss out on so much by not having an extended family. My boss never had children, no brothers or sisters. When his mother and father passed, he had no one. I'll never forget how alone he felt.

If I had it to do over again, I would have at least two and maybe three children. I missed out on a daughter. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a granddaughter one day.
Click to expand...

Thanks Kelly you make a ton of good points all of which we have been thinking of. You made me really sad for your boss though, poor guy. I come from a huge family, my mother is one of 7 brothers and sisters and I have 27 cousins just on that side of the family, problem for us is really cost right now. To afford another child we will have to move as it is really really expensive to live where we do, and could never afford a larger house in this area. I would say we are 70-30 in favor of having another.
 
Let ya heart do the talking and listen :thumb:
 
LOL, we just had this talk, CB. You were staying strong with one! We have no plans for another. I was an only (sort of, I had step-siblings, but didn't live with them) and turned out fine.

I can't afford another one.
 
Quite honestly, at my young age, I think that another sibling is the greatest thing you could do to Kingsley.

Having worked at summer camps for 4 years, I could tell the only-children from those with brothers/sisters. As a very broad generalization, they were just better people.
I see it in my friends as well, my few friends who are only children, have "only child syndrome" in that they never learned to share, or accept it when they don't get their way.
I know I'm a better person because I have my brother.
 
Hawk said:
LOL, we just had this talk, CB. You were staying strong with one! We have no plans for another. I was an only (sort of, I had step-siblings, but didn't live with them) and turned out fine.

I can't afford another one.
Click to expand...

I know buddy, we do love our lives right now and we were staying strong, but it just keeps creeping into our heads that we would always regret not having one more. Its really the moving that will affect everything, its just so damn expensive here.
 
CB, I got 2 rambunctious boys 2 years apart almost to the day (3.5 and 1.5). They're like 2 pinballs and my house is the machine. Chasing around after them does get tiring but it's that rewarding type tired. They'll have tiffs but most of the time they're buds. I'm sure that won't last forever but I'm hoping that they will respect each other. I was actually an only child and I made a promise to myself that when I got married I would have at least 2 children because it sucked going to theme parks and being the one kid on the single rider line. I think it taught me to be independent but I think even having brothers or sisters I would've turned out the same.

If we could afford it we would love to try for a little girl. My wife needs to have a shopping buddy.
 
I have a sister but I don't remember her at all until I back up to the age of 12 or so maybe.
 
CB - I am the oldest of four brothers, and my wife is the oldest of five siblings (four sisters and a brother) and I can tell you that our lives wouldn't be the same without our siblings. We had a very difficult time getting pregnant with our first son, now almost 3, and we would have been disappointed not to have been able to give him what we had growing up (and today). We were lucky to get the second one very quickly (he's now almost 10 months). While they don't really play together yet, you can already tell that they are going to be good buddies (as well as sparring partners). I was kind of indifferent about having the second one prior to getting pregnant with him, but am very glad we did.

I think this is going to be one of those questions where the person answering has different opinions based on how they grew up, and there are no right or wrong answers. There are pluses and minuses you can come up with either way. As morbid as it sounds, it is nice to me that my boys will still have each other hopefully when they outlive the two of us.
 
I have 2 girls who are almost exactly 2 years apart. I love that they have each other. They are 10 & 12 so they fight some, but they mostly get along. I wanted a 3rd to try for a boy, but Darren said no. He grew up with 5 brothers. I grew up with one brother.
 
coolbreeze said:
All the baby posts today made me think about the discussions going on in the Coolbreeze household and I thought I could do with some THP input as there are a lot of family men here. So my wife and I have a beautiful son Kingsley who is two and half and the light of my life. We are currently deciding whether or not to have one more and are very undecided. We know we would never regret having another child, and might regret not having another, but we are really loving our lives right now. Would it be better for Kingsley to have a brother or sister, someone who he can talk to about how bad we screwed him up?:act-up: Anyway just some thoughts on your experiences about having more than one kid would be great.
Click to expand...

I dunno, but check this out first!

http://www.google.com/#sclient=psy&hl=en&safe=off&source=hp&q=how+much+does+raising+a+child+cost&aq=0&aqi=g1g-j4&aql=f&oq=&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&fp=f5b1d5aa1ea1fb55
 
RatFink said:
I see it in my friends as well, my few friends who are only children, have "only child syndrome" in that they never learned to share, or accept it when they don't get their way.
Click to expand...

Pfffbt, sharing is for the birds : p (only child here)

Honestly CB I think it depends on your life style. Kids from my experience benefit the most when both parents are plugged in and devote all the time required to teach and develop their kids. If you or your missus are working 60 to 80 hour work weeks like I do now, suddenly it's more like 1.25 parents interacting with the kid. That equation doesn't add up for the kid or the parent whom most of the load falls upon.

That being said, all the people I know who have a sibling love it for the most part.
 
My sister and I are 7 years apart, and I honestly wish we were closer, but we aren't close at all.

I've always wondered what'd it be like to have a bro or sis my own age. All of my buddies are super close with their family when they have siblings near the same age. It's something I truly do envy and I would say go for it.

I know it's not worth much because of my age or experience, but it's a look from the younger side of things.
 
Hey CB, I say go for it. My two boys are 27 months apart, and they're like best friends. They're both in high school, play the same sports, do youth activities at church together. They're not inseparable - they're their own persons and have totally different friends - but really like spending time with each other.

It's been great watching them grow up. They were close when they were really little - around when the oldest was 8 - then were very competitive with each other until the oldest started high school - and are close again. Since they're close in age, they always have each other to hang around with in social settings if need be. I love being the father of these two great kids.
 
Two is better than One!!! Have 2 with a 3rd on the way....ALL GIRLS! I asked God/Wife for at least 1 girl in this process and was granted 3 (careful what you wish for :bulgy-eyes:)! BUT, this decision is really up to you and the wife and what you guys really want in life. Tuff decision but you probable already know the answer either way. If you have the means there is really nothing better than a sibling for someone to grow up with, in good times and bad.

Good Luck!
 
Thainer said:
My sister and I are 7 years apart, and I honestly wish we were closer, but we aren't close at all.

I've always wondered what'd it be like to have a bro or sis my own age. All of my buddies are super close with their family when they have siblings near the same age. It's something I truly do envy and I would say go for it.

I know it's not worth much because of my age or experience, but it's a look from the younger side of things.
Click to expand...

My sister and I are 10 years apart, don't feel bad.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top