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Getting past a really, really bad day?

92Esquire

92Esquire

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My wife and I played a local muni in the afternoon yesterday. I've been excited (and honestly a bit nervous) about this all week. While we consider this our "home" course, I've struggled with the front 9. The last time I playd there was about a month and a half ago. I was walking it by myself. I started off with a bad drive on the first tee that actually hit a car in the parking lot (wicked, wicked slice). By the time I teed off on 9, I was down to the last two balls in my bag. I lost one on the over-water approach and just walked off the course.

I've been playing now a bit over a year. I try to keep score and play as the rules indicate. I don't give myself mulligans, I try to play the ball where it lies (unless doing so is going to cause severe damage to a club). Without talking pure scores here (I'm already depressed, no need to put a number on it), last fall I was hitting the ball inconsistently. My common miss was topping the ball, and kicking it forward about 25 yards. I've practiced like crazy and now I'm making good contact much more frequently. I'm much longer now than I was last fall (about 2 clubs longer), although I don't feel like I'm swinging harder. The problem is my score has increased. Probably about 2 strokes a hole.

My problem is with direction. My woods go right, my irons go left. That is, unless I compensate for it. Then they go straight as an arrow, and I'm left in another pickle. What killed me yesterday was driving and chipping. I lost a full dozen balls (E6+'s. Not as painful as a dozen Pro V1's, but it still hurts). I lost three on one hole. It got bad enough that I ditched the scorecard after the 9th, but I still knew how badly it was going.

I understand that golf is supposed to be frustrating, but how do I get past this? I really enjoy playing with my wife, but I'm putting in serious time out of my life that I could be doing something else and I'm going backwards in a big hurry. I know that I will never be a tour player (or be able to play in a club championship), but if I can't figure out a way to at least feel a bit competent, I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. I really enjoy spending time with my wife, and I want to golf with her. However, I need to at least feel like I'm doing "OK". Carding 10's on a par 4 regularly isn't helping.

I've got a lesson Monday. I've taken a number of lessons, and I can always seem to get straight with an instructor watching me. At this point, I don't even know what to tell the guy I need help with, other than a simple "I suck".

Sorry for the pity party. This typically isn't like me. However, I've been self-competitive my entire life (being a swimmer does that to you). I don't want world class performance, only competence. Should I be praying for a breakthrough, or is this just going to continue to suck for a long time?

92
 
No problem at all. I would recommend asking your instructor if you would do a playing lesson with you. Play 9 holes with you and you can show him exactly where things are going south.
 
Relax.

You know you can hit the ball, you know how far it flies for each given club. It's anxiety that's causing you to goof. You're trying so hard to hit a good shot, that you're hitting a worse shot. At least that seems to be the case whenever I play.

JB's idea for a playing lesson is a very good one, and something I would like very much to do, but haven't yet.

Aside from that, practice hard. Practice until hitting the ball requires no real thought, and the anxiety starts to fade on the practice range.

Once you've reached that point, then change your practice strategy. Start playing 'per hole' on the range. Set a target, and a goal.

For example: Play a 500 yard par 5, so you hit a driver, a 3 wood and a wedge, or driver 7 iron, 7 iron to hit the 'green' (pick a target on the range, usually a flag or something to act as your green) just be sure that you advance the ball those 500 yards, and hit your target, no matter how many strokes you use to do it. With time, you'll start feeling a little more comfortable, and you can step it up.

Really put the pressure on yourself on the range, get into your own head. If you don't have some alignment sticks, pick some up ($5 ea at Home Depot) Set them up several feet in front of you to simulate a tree in your way, and hit the ball around it, or set 2 of them up and look at it as a 'recovery' shot between 2 trees. Have some fun with it.
 
And dont forget that short game is always the greatest equalizer.
 
At least golf is a sport where you can play whenever you want unlike football or baseball where youd need to round up quite a few players!

just keep practicing and youll be fine!
 
There is something to be said about leaving your driver, and sometimes even your 3 wood at home. Maybe leave that 3, and 4 iron with them when you head off to the course. Golf, however it is played should not be frustrating. All frustration is good for, is more frustration, and bad shots. Probably not keeping score for a few rounds would help. Just go out, hitting balls, while enjoying the walk, or ride. On Monday be completely honest with your instructor. Ask as many questions as it takes to understand what your instructor is trying to convey to you. If your instructor seems to be in hurry, slow it down so that you understand the instruction. Instruction is always for your benefit, and not the instructor's. Hopefully your instructor will see a simple swing issue which is causing you grief, and will be able fix it right off the bat. Perhaps your instructor will concentrate a little on your short game. I am firm believer that learning the game backwards from the green to the tee is the best way to go. Practicing on your short game will help out more than you know. A poor long game puts to much pressure on the short game. But, a good short game takes a lot of pressure off the long game. A play on words maybe, but I have seen it work too many times. Bottom line is to just enjoy yourself. It's a game, and your toughest shot/putt will always be your next one. Once you start hitting the ball with some consistency, start adding in some course management values for your game. Good course management can save as many strokes as a good short game, and also takes a lot of pressure off of one's long game. :comp:
 
Thanks all.

For what it's worth, I'm going to a new instructor on Monday. My wife and I have been going to a local LPGA pro for the past year, this will be my first lesson through my practice facility. My wife believes I need to see a male instructor, I'm not sure.

We did a playing lesson with our coach last time - and of course I played out of my head, with a couple of absolutely phenomenal shots and lipping out a 35' putt.

Maybe there's something to the short game affecting everything else. I'm practicing my short game all of the time - and still struggling with this MP-R wedge. When I get the feel right, I am a pin seeker. But when the feel fades a bit, I alternate between skulling across the green and hitting it fat and going half as far as I needed to.

I'm thinking about going out again tonight, and walking it by myself with no scorecard. I have not decided yet.
 
I would have no issue taking instructions from an LPGA pro- I have been humbled by my golf game many times and that would mean nothing. She is a pro for a reason.

As to your original post, it sounds a lot like what I went through last year. That was my first year really golfing, and I looped a local 9 hole goat track 3 or 4 times a week after work. I sliced the ball, and played the slice, just lining up cockeyed. I eventually decided to force myself to eliminate my slice and rebuild my swing, and it was a tough, frustrating project. It took me a year, and while I felt I was getting better, the scores went up.

My mistake is that I didn't do what you are doing, I watched the PGA every weekend, spent a ton of money at the driving range, and rebuilt my swing myself just on trial and error. This did two things- I now understand a lot about a golf swing. I also don't really know if some parts of my swing are correct or not, but the desired results are somewhat there.

You are doing the right thing in seeing an instructor, it is what I wish I had done. Stay the course with her, and you will see results. It seems like you have already gone through the first part of "you will go backwards before you go forwards", so the best should be in front of you. Good luck.
 
Id just chalk it up as a bad day and put it behind you. I have my days where I cant hit the ball worth a darn, just as I have my days where I hit the ball pure.
 
92 - I can't tell you anything about execution, but I can offer advice on attitude. I try to look for something good on every hole. I had a really bad day two weeks ago and someone in my group asked if I was frustrated. I told her that I just don't think about it. It's not worth it and trust me - there is usually something good in there. You just need to find it. Keep in mind - it can be something silly - you hit the tree, but bounced back into the fairway and not into the woods - who cares if you only advanced 10 feet - you can find your ball. I know I sound like Pollyanna, but it works. Oh and cheer for yourself when you hit a good shot - it will make you feel happy. I promise you that it will get better - it always does.
 
In golf you are going to have some bad days. In reading your post I think one of the areas you can focus on is your emotions. You are not going to be able to control the direction of every shot, nobody does not even Tiger, but you can control your reaction to it. If after you hit a bad shot you start getting upset and then the next shot you carry that emotion your likelihood of hitting a good shot goes WAY down. This is an area you can work on in parallel with working with the professional.

I also think you have to be aware of your emotions before the round. It sounds like you were nervous so maybe that also affected the way you played as well. I know when I play rounds after being nervous or anxious I don't play as well as when I am relaxed.

Just something to think about.
 
Diane said:
92 - I can't tell you anything about execution, but I can offer advice on attitude. I try to look for something good on every hole. I had a really bad day two weeks ago and someone in my group asked if I was frustrated. I told her that I just don't think about it. It's not worth it and trust me - there is usually something good in there. You just need to find it. Keep in mind - it can be something silly - you hit the tree, but bounced back into the fairway and not into the woods - who cares if you only advanced 10 feet - you can find your ball. I know I sound like Pollyanna, but it works. Oh and cheer for yourself when you hit a good shot - it will make you feel happy. I promise you that it will get better - it always does.
Click to expand...

Yeah, if I hit one over the green and into the desert, I can always say I really got that one pure.... :banana: Of course, if I hit it fat, I just say I was helping aerate the course....:D

Seriously, Diane is right. Most golfers, myself included, expect to play better than we are really capable at any given time. The handicap index set up doesn't help us with that either, since it is well below our average differential. So if that is the case, maybe we should be happy with those things we do execute well, even if it is a long putt holed for a nine.
 
I've been known to get really frustrated during a round, to the point of costing myself several more strokes by making bad decisions. I am trying to let it go if I make a horrible shot, it is getting better.
I used to get so frustrated I would just walk off the course without finishing the round, at that point I decided to completely quit playing. I took 10 years off and came back last year.
 
A small update.

This morning I walked the course again, by myself. I was the first one out at 7AM. My initial drive went left, and I lost my first shot in the water. I played out the rest of the hole OK, and found some things I did well. My second hole I put two into the water before letting go and hitting a great drive, followed by a passable hybrid to just off the green. I lost one ball on the next hole and then managed to keep my drives in play for the rest of the round. I wasn't perfect, but the final hole had me lipping out a birdie putt on a par 5 that I started with a hybrid shot. I feel a lot better about this round. I struggled at times, but I didn't blow my cool. I hit some good drives. If I could have had the wedges and putter working for me, I could have been somebody.

I had my lesson tonight with an instructor I'd never met. He asked me about my game, and I said "I hit my woods right, my irons left. I feel like my hips and shoulders aren't connected, and my hips get stuck behind, which has me miss fat. Typical miss is fat unless I'm holding a wedge, then it's thin. I'm pretty much a wreck."

He put me on video, and said he'd immediately figured out my problem. He said my swing was fantastic, but my setup was off. For whatever reason, I'm either flat across the shoulders or left-shoulder-low. He showed me how to practice with a higher left shoulder, and how that drives the body to move in synch. Then on the range we worked on my club release, which is the next part of the problem. He dared me to hit a ball left, which I didn't do - but I did hit a drive 275 down the middle while trying to over-rotate. The changes aren't comfortable now, but I think I can work on this. Obviously being comfortable isn't working right now.

I'm nervous about making such a radical change right before a vacation that involves some golf, but I'll make it work.

Thanks for the support, guys.
 
I am looking forward to your report afterwards 92.
 
If I picked up a club for the first time and shot a 70...I would get rid of the clubs and try something more challenging. It seems the better you get the more frustration starts to set in. That's the beauty of just starting out. You get to experience what all the scratch guys already did. The journey! If I was frustrated to the point of thinking maybe I was wasting my time and doubting If I could take much more of it...I would quit. My insane frustration only last till the next hole. Then it's a whole new game. Then at the end of the round...there's always the next round, God willing! Ha! Just play it one whole at a time but if it is truly not fun try something else. Life is a journey...enjoy the ride!
 
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