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Mytime is having a baby

ClairefromClare said:
Trust me on this one. Necessary but not for public view.
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Are we talking the manual or the electric pump. I hear the manual ones aren't that great.

But I still can't imagine what would be that gross about it. I mean: breasts, suction, breast-milk. What's the issue :question:
 
Harry Longshanks said:
Are we talking the manual or the electric pump. I hear the manual ones aren't that great.

But I still can't imagine what would be that gross about it. I mean: breasts, suction, breast-milk. What's the issue :question:
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For an unmarried (presumably) childless guy, you've heard a lot. Electric. PumpInStyle is the only way to go. Suction = stretching. The whole process is very weird until you get used to it.
 
Even a baby can't prevent a good old-fashioned Clairejacking!
 
I have a lot of friends who have just had babies and from what I have been told you DON'T want to see that part. All sorts of things can happen.....Oh and the trick for two of my friends was eating spicy food, that got the baby out in no time.
 
You can stay at the head of the bed next to her. The drape usually keeps enough obscured if that's what you want.
 
Or you can sit back to back, supporting her while she pushes.
 
I just got this in an email:

The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitation on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.

They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.

I'm sure I applauded the loudest... Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.
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GolferGal22 said:
Oh and the trick for two of my friends was eating spicy food, that got the baby out in no time.
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It's true. I came out one morning, a bit early, after my mom splurged at a Mexican restaurant the night before. The long running joke was that there's always been a little salsa in me.
 
Hey mytime has that baby dropped yet?

Spoiler
I actually already know the answer from HDJ as of last night anyway but want to bump this up!
 
Smallville said:
Hey mytime has that baby dropped yet?

Spoiler
I actually already know the answer from HDJ as of last night anyway but want to bump this up!
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He needs to hurry. I have sworn off beer until he is born. I didn't want to be half way through an 18 pk and have to drive her to the hospital. Would be extremely irresponsible.
 
mytime said:
He needs to hurry. I have sworn off beer until he is born. I didn't want to be half way through an 18 pk and have to drive her to the hospital. Would be extremely irresponsible.
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And extremely rude of the baby! hehe
 
congratulations man...i wish you & your family the best.
 
Man..........good luck......... my wife was in labor in the hospital for FOUR days......i'm talking about, grunting, breathing, painful labor....and me standing there for days wishing i could do something about it, at times i woulda ripped my arm off if it woulda helped. Sleeping on the floor......wishing that little bugger(we went old school and didn't wanna know the sex) would come out. The worst part is on the fourth day, something was wrong and they hadda do an emergency c section (which by the way claire.....is REALLY gross) i only got to go in the operating room after the kid was out, and i remember thinking holy god that kid is ugly....all covered in green slimy stuff....but even that could not distract me from watching the doctors stuff my wifes guts back into her body. After they had my daughter all cleaned up and handed to me, she was the most beautiful thing i ever seen in my life....seriously......even now. Oh and on a side note... the surgeon general must be lying...cuz every single one of the doctors i offered a cohiba or ashton took one...LOL. Not one of them turned me down. At least you should be able to golf, well, maybe you will in the first year...but it sure slows down abit. Congrats and good luck!!!!
 
birdsboro said:
Man..........good luck......... my wife was in labor in the hospital for FOUR days......i'm talking about, grunting, breathing, painful labor....and me standing there for days wishing i could do something about it, at times i woulda ripped my arm off if it woulda helped. Sleeping on the floor......wishing that little bugger(we went old school and didn't wanna know the sex) would come out. The worst part is on the fourth day, something was wrong and they hadda do an emergency c section (which by the way claire.....is REALLY gross) i only got to go in the operating room after the kid was out, and i remember thinking holy god that kid is ugly....all covered in green slimy stuff....but even that could not distract me from watching the doctors stuff my wifes guts back into her body. After they had my daughter all cleaned up and handed to me, she was the most beautiful thing i ever seen in my life....seriously......even now. Oh and on a side note... the surgeon general must be lying...cuz every single one of the doctors i offered a cohiba or ashton took one...LOL. Not one of them turned me down. At least you should be able to golf, well, maybe you will in the first year...but it sure slows down abit. Congrats and good luck!!!!
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Way to scare him s***less! :D
 
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Floppy said:
Way to scare him Sh**le**! :D
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Made me very grateful for the deliveries I had! I thought 29-1/2 hours was plenty long.
 
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